Its been a while since Kev and I last wrote as our real lives have gotten a tad bit busy however; we are

back.  I felt the urge to write about “Making your mate your priority” as I have come across in my real

life as well as Second life of couples that have been together for very long periods of time.  I was talking

to some co-workers and both of them stated they had been married in excess of 30 years.  My question

to them was “How do you make it work?”  With not even a moment to think about it they both stated

they are the best of friends and actually like each other and enjoy being around each other.  One lady

told me that if an event is going on and one or the other is not invited, they figure out how they both

can go.  It’s for only short periods of time that they are actually apart.  This blew me away especially

over 30 years of marriage.


Reading as I like to do as well as just receiving people’s opinions, I have always wanted to know how

marriages last this long in a society where you see so many getting married and not even making it to

their first anniversary.  What are the secret ingredients?  I cannot speak for all but the majority of

people that I talk to would love to have a long term/marital relationship; we have to ask ourselves what

does it take and are we willing to do it?


The more I study these couples and ask questions, some are witty and some are serious it’s just the plain

truth “Transparency”.   Being friends is of the most importance and really liking and enjoying each other

because if you can’t weather things in this arena you will not be able to move to the love nest.  When I

met Kev there was not a love interest that even sparked, he put his hand out to me as a friend as I was

going through a trying time.  He listened to me, made me feel better when I needed to cry and was

there as shoulder to cry on and a bouncing board sort to speak.  The more we hung around each other

the more we saw how many things we had in common, again nothing intimate or sexual involved.  We

talked about current technology (yes we are geeks), what was going on in World News and anything

from A-Z.  It’s amazing when you talk to people how much you can really find out that you never knew

just in passing.  Kev and I took some time to really understand the meaning of friendship and then

moving to the next level and let me tell you it wasn’t always roses and good times.


I learned through my own process and talking to other couples that it also takes a lot of patience.  What

we all should know is we are NOT perfect, therefore should not try to look for the perfect person on

earth but find the perfect person to fit you.  Each time a storm comes you work your way through it, this

is where communication is of most importance.  You have to be able to talk about anything, sometimes

you may not like or want to hear but in the end it makes you stronger as a couple.  I have seen so many

couples let outside influences in and have had their relationships ruined (including me).  My best friend

should be my mate (husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, life partner,  etc).  This doesn’t just rear its ugly

head with having friends of the opposite sex it can show up in spending more time with your girls or

with the guys than maintaining your relationship.  What is so important to tell them that you cannot tell

your partner, after all isn’t he/she your best friend?   Learn how to talk to one another and not at each

other.  Fight fair as I call it and keep the kitchen sink out of your fights, stick to the topic at hand.  Its ok

to agree to disagree as this is what makes us unique.  DO NOT let someone from the outside tell you

how to handle your relationship, what works for one may not work for you.  So many give us solicited

advice on how to handle our relationships and then when it doesn’t work you want to blame that

person.  Its your relationship and yours alone, create what you want as great relationships do not just

happen they are work.


When was the last time you asked your mate, “Do I show you enough attention?”  Do you have date

nights?  Do you make time to talk about serious things without shutting each other down or out?  Let

me tell you, if you are not doing these things there is room left for error and someone else to sneak in

and give these missing items and thus your problems begin.  I realize that everyone is not ready for a

“Transparent” relationship and if you are not you need to ask  yourself “Why am I in this relationship”?

Stop wasting your time and the other person’s time if you cannot commit to being a friend in the

relationship and investing in it so that it grows into something that will last a lifetime.

I admit Kev sometimes has to get in my face because I want to run sometimes at the slightest bit of

turmoil, his stance with me “ I am not going anywhere, so you better get used to it”.  I threatened to

pack up one time and leave and he stated “Where are we going”.  You see the investment here.  I am no

means perfect however; I have a man that is perfect for me and has all my attention.  I will put other

things aside to make sure that his needs are met.  Do the test, and your mate will love you for it.

Love, Peace, Happiness

Reign Congrejo Jameson


Khalied’s Style Card

Shirt: ::K:: Dress Down Shirts Homme Alpha
Pants:  ::K:: Dual Belt Chinos Homme Alpha
Earrings: / XIAJ / Vo Horn Earrings + Gold
Phone: [ kunst ] – kPhone 3C / wood
Shoes: [monso] My Horsebit Loafer – Brown ( guys)


Reign’s Style Card

Emery Audrina Top (Berry)
Emery Lauren Riot Jeans
Bangle/Bracelet Planex 4 (RYCA)
Necklace: Iced Peace Gold (RYCA)
Hair: No Match_No Hunt

1 Comment

  1. You hit the nail on the head with this one.~~ Great post


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