Laying down the hammer or nah

Laying down the hammer or nah

“Laying down the hammer or nah”

In the business world, we are not good about sharing our emotions — unless the emotion is anger! We show anger very easily.

We kid ourselves that we are most effective or ‘professional’ in the business world when it is a stiff and formal place.

When we experience rejection, we feel hurt. That is an important emotion to notice and to acknowledge.

When we are little kids, our parents can pick us up and kiss our bruises and make us feel better. As little kids we’re not embarrassed to say “I got hurt” or “Those kids hurt my feelings.”

As we get older, we don’t talk so readily about our hurt feelings. We still feel pain, but it translates into anger. We don’t say “You guys, it really hurts me when I see you not fulfilling your word. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m doing the best I can. I want to be a good team player to you guys. How can we work together more effectively?”

Instead, we say “You people better shape up or ship out! Or better yet I’m out ” We don’t want to talk about our hurt feelings, so we get angry and bring the hammer down, instead.

When managers and leaders feel anger, they have lots of ways to show it! They can discipline employees. They can write people up and put them on probation. You could even fire someone on your team — but what good would that do? (Note* Some people def need to be fired.)

You know that the energy in the team is the problem — not any one employee (most of the time) or even the whole group of them. To shift the energy in your team, you have to soften first.

You have to sit down with each team member one on one, and open up. You have to say “I need your help. I’m confused and frustrated by the poor morale and the low trust level in our team. What can I do to change that?”

You will ask each person “What can I do to change the negative energy in our team?” You will ask for each team member’s ideas. You won’t tell them what you need them to do. You can’t force people to respect you.

It’s just the opposite! The more you push, the farther away your teammates will move and the more resistant they’ll become.

The less they’ll listen to you or care about what you have to say. You have to go in the opposite direction!

Instead of pushing them away, you’ll lean back and invite them into your sphere.  You’ll do that by being human with them. You’ll be open and humble, and ask “How can I do a better job managing your gifts and talents?”

That’s what a leader does. A leader doesn’t bring the hammer down in order to try to force people to care. That’s an impossible task. You can’t make people care!

After all, that’s what your team has been trying to do for these past months. They’ve been trying to get you to care about them and their wounded feelings over someone’s failure to get your job and or the departure of another team member or because you didn’t give the go ahead on a idea.

Their hurt reactions look to you like hostility. That makes sense, because fear and hostility are two sides of the same coin. Your team’s reactions to your idea’s and decisions not there’s have made you angry. See the cycle?

You’re in charge, so take charge of changing the negative energy into positive Team Mojo not by using force, but by being open and human with your teammates and letting them know that you need their help.

You being a great leader in rl and sl is understanding that people all want to feel relevant and feel care is involved. The biggest motivation you’ll ever get is from people passionate about what they do and, people that feel important and recognized by the company they support will always go above and beyond for them.

Be blessed,
Khalied ‘Kev’ Jameson

Sweater: (/H.UP!\) Arctic Sweater – Creme M

Glasses: *  S O R G O – ClubMaster Wood (G)

Once upon a time….

Once upon a time….

For as long as I can remember I have always believed that I would find that one for me. That person who I was so proud to call mine and they proud to call there own. I believed that if I ever found such a person that the love we had would be so strong nothing could tear it apart.

I so strongly believed that this person existed after all I had seen others  have it, it was even found in the bible these type of relationships. After all God even said that he would cause man and wife to cleave to each other. I knew that existed and all my life I believed I would find it.

In my search I looked all the wrong places. I found myself time and time again subject to the same pattern. A certain persistent crucible . It went a little something like this. Yeah I realize you want to give me your all but, I just got hurt bymy ex and I’m never giving my all to anyone else. Or my ex just put me thru so much hell and he said he loved me and you say you love me but when he said he loved me he cheated on me he used me and so I don’t believe that it means much and you shall now jump thru 500 fiery hoops to prove to me you love me and if at any point I’m not satisfied then you sir have completely wasted your time because I will move on.

Or I have been there done that in my past relationships I’m so not into what you want now because its nothing new and I’m not impressed or care about what your talking about. Or it’s the your good but your not exactly what I’m looking for.  So what will happen is I will keep you around knowing I’m not fully happy so incase my Mr Right comes along then i’ll replace you and or cheat on you (you’ll never find out right?) after all, I’ve given my heart to men in the past so you say you want me then you’ll do what I think is necessary for you to please me and, i’ll do what is necessary to please myself because after all I need to look out for me and protect myself. You? What about you? Well you asked to be with me now didn’t you?

When I looked back I absolutely did. I asked to be with them because I saw something most of the time that was just a shell of a person. After they had been gutted from a previous relationship and because I happened to come along right as they where going thru or getting away then at first it seemed great because I was something there ex wasn’t. But after a while I wasn’t what they really wanted. I was too much. Too kind, too giving, too trusting, I was about them too much and I didn’t try to control them. I was too faithful too them (honestly at some point he has to cheat on you right?).  I was too forgiving (they pushed and pushed and pushed to test me when I already offered my best from the beginning). How boring. At some point I had to become this rude argumentative person cause after all that’s what they all did. But I never was and I never did.

I felt something has to be wrong with me. Why when I did the things I was supposed to do did it feel like I was getting punished. Punished for every bad relationship before me. I wasn’t able to be given to because they already gave there all and best to people before me who took it all and did them dirty.

When looking back I still believe that if they truly understood who I was and what I was offering them it would be so simple to just let go and let true love happen. But then I realized this. I could never do enough, I could never love enough, I could never sacrifice enough to be good enough for a person if they were not open to receive me.  I would always be rejected, I will always be not quite enough to totally make them satisfied. When its for you it’s freely given to you. It has no constraints on it, no contracts or conditions. It is not predicated on another persons past actions its all about you and that person. When its truly freely given to you, you will be enough and there will never be a need to be entertained by others, your ego stroked by other people or your happiness found in transient temporary pleasures and people.

Looking back I realized it was simple no matter how perfect of a key you are if the lock doesn’t fit it doesn’t fit. No matter how much forcing you do you cannot unlock their heart door. Forcing it only hurts you and waste your time, emotions, money and confidence and makes them see you as expendable and not really a necessity in there life. They been thru so much that no matter what you do it will not matter. Your life and heart is not that important they have to work on there own heart first.

I cant tell you how many times I had to stand in the shadow of someone’s ex. No matter how shitty they treated the girl they still where the reason I was put thru hell and the gauntlet and ultimately had to leave because I was never given that 100% they so faithfully gave that person. Most of the time because they didn’t have it to give anymore. And honestly to them I wasn’t worth that effort because what if it failed then. I was not good enough for them to give what they gave before. I wasn’t worth it.

Despite that I still believe that love exist. I believe there is someone who can love you past themselves and past there past. Someone who can recognize you for who you are let you flourish and grow into a beautiful mate. I still believe that love conquers all and that if everyone is all in there’s no way you can lose. I know that despite the many times I have been crushed with tears streaming down my face because I was forced once again to pay for the deeds of another man that if I can love thru that then maybe one day someone will think enough of me to love me thru it too.

I still believe in agape love and being more then enough of a man that makes my woman proud to call her own, proud to share everything with  and wakes up glad I’m in there life. Even tho there’s days where my faith and confidence is tried I remember who made me and what he thinks of me.

If I’m never enough for anyone on this earth then when I leave at least they will know that I loved hard, I forgave often, I was stepped on but never stayed down. I would give my last, for what profits a man to gain the world but lose his soul. I believed in love and the power of it. I believed that we all fall short and I can never feel better then another. And if I’m blessed to have another day getting to love the woman that is so important to me then my life and all its hardships and troubles would have been worth it to learn this lesson on how to love.

 

Be blessed,

Kev

 

Style:

Glasses:Sorgo Tort SG

Fit: HHC Eli Ensemble

Soulfood – Dinner Date

Soulfood – Dinner Date

Easter weekend is behind us. Most of us have ate heartily and are still recouping. But i wanted to talk a little about soulfood. There is something about praising someone. The acknowledgement of someone else. That voice that speaks quietly yes “I see you”, “I see your being, your value, your worth, your pain, your struggle, your sadness and your hope.”

The easiest thing to get someones attention is to praise them. It’s more then an ego thing. It’s not just a hey “ur pretty” or a “hey your sexy”. It’s an attraction opener. It’s a way of saying you got my attention, now I’ve opened a portion of myself to you. Even if it’s an ear to hear that next line of game being spit or a pillow to find comfort by the laying of concerns and worry on another hoping to find a voice of reason or a passive listener.

We are made in the image of our creator, who made everything to glorify him. “.Every tree shall bow and rock shall cry out.” So as God desires the praises of his people so do we desire praise as a form of food. It is in some forms a restoration. “Edification” To lift up someone is like taking glass cleaner and wiping the smudges and dirt off the mirror of your self image.

So comes the perversion. Even the enemy knows the power of praise and that is why its used to get directly pass the cruff and straight to a heart of a person. Maybe someone not even looking to be bothered. This is why its crucial to the success of any relationship to be the edifier of your partner. Lift them up DO NOT leave that oh so important job to someone else. Because people WILL take that gaping hole in your relationship and exploit it. Guard your house.

Take this example. ” Guy has been feeling down. Work is kicking his butt. He does’nt feel as young as he used to and although he’s happy being married to his wife. A bit of time into it and all the honeymooning is over, the most interaction he gets is her usually only telling him the todo list for the day. Along comes Suzy. Suzy knows guy passingly enough to conversate with him. But has been watching him for a while thru various media formats and sees that he’s married and has this good life going on. But Suzy having no regard for Guy’s relationship because she thinks Guy is hot wants to just hit him up and see how he’s doing. 

Suzy messages Guy “Hey Handsome how’s your day going?”.

Guy sees message and although  he doesn’t really know Suzy very well he is intrigued of her use of the words “Handsome”. Now Suzy means nothing to Guy and he has no interest in her but what he does have an interest in is being told he is handsome. Something he has not heard from his wife since they first got married. 

Guy responds “ty my day is going well.” 

Suzy “well i just wanted to say hi you came across my timeline and i was thinking of you”.

Guy thinks why is this person thinking of him. He thinks back to his wife who thinks of him when she wants stuff done but outside that he’s pretty much non existent.

So Guy responds ” you was thinking of me why? ” …….. Now notice what just happened.

Without her doing much at all she immediately grabbed his attention enough to have him respond to her, then secondly he questioned how a stranger is thinking of him seemingly more then his wife. However true or not true that may be it doesn’t even matter. Now the next time Guy sees Suzy online his thoughts about there last conversation is positive and more then likely he wouldn’t be against another conversation that could lead who knows where.

Now lets look at it a different way. Guy was feeling down. His wife took notice and encouraged him, Guy today you seem a little down but just wanted to let you know that even tho you have a frown on your face you are the most handsome man i have the pleasure of loving. Gives him a kiss and goes about her day.

Guy feels a warm kiss on his cheek and heard encouragement from the woman who meant it all to him.  Even tho he may still be down. He knows he’s loved. So Guy jumps online to check some messages and gets a ping from someone named Suzy.

Suzy messages Guy “Hey Handsome hows’s your day going?”

Guy see’s message “Going great, i got to go”. Closes message and goes on about his day.

What was different. His wife by edifying her own man shielded him. Girded his heart with love and provided a barrier against these vulnerability attacks (attacks designed to poke holes in defenses of things such as relationships). So when that penetration test came. The ole “how is your woman/man”, “yall still together”, “do you even got a woman”, “why you talking to me dont you got a man/woman” questions. Instantly those conversations never happen or they get shutdown. Bullet proof.

Edify her. Let her know her beauty, her worth is everything. Her smile and her soul brings out the best in you. Her intelligence and creativity is abounding.
Pray for her because she is going thru more then she will ever tell you and she will worry and have heartache that only prayer can fix.
Fight for her because real love is worth fighting for.
Protect her the world is plotting for her very life and those around her want to use her then discard her but you know her worth.

Edify him. He should never have to hear he’s sexy or handsome from another woman and not you who is the one it matters from. Let him know his worth is everything and his shield allows you to move mountains.
Pray for him because he is carrying a burden with no one to share it with.
Fight for him because real love is worth fighting for.
Protect him because he is continually warring on your behalf. He sees dangers before you may even notice and he is being beat down by the world and life to protect what he loves the most.

FEED there soul so they don’t starve and are empty in there spirit.

In the end lift each other up. If you have a problem telling your man or woman something good about them. Something encouraging about them, There are several people plotting for what you have, don’t help them along by not attending to your grass. Take care of each other. If you can compliment another man or woman before or even not saying that same edification to your own man or woman. Then your heart is in the wrong place and you are cheating that person of a blessing they may need for that day. Giving there soulfood to someone else.Don’t give place to the enemy to break into your blessing and steal from you or worse yet give it away chasing plastic grass.

Agape Love,

KJ

 

Unorthodox Geometric Mohawk and hair base.

Unorthodox full beard base.

SORGO Wooden Tort glasses.

Fashionatic Stefano suit.

Why do we “Trust” Google more then God?

Why do we “Trust” Google more then God?

Picture this. You get up in the morning and decide some breakfast from your favourite spot sounds really good. So you jump in you car. Take that same right turn and head on down 5th street to johnson way and make a left 2 blocks down and there sits “Pancakes, Sausage and Waffles.” You know they got the best waffles in town.  It was not even a thought taken on how to get there you’ve been there several times before and today was no exception.

Belly full on the way home, you get a call from your best friend telling you they want you to meet them for lunch at this new place that you both wanted to go to. Only problem is, its 2 hours away and you have never been there before. No problem, you whip out your phone open your mic and say “Navigate to Bob’s Seafood Bonanza” a few moments goes by while Google does its thing (sorry apple users we all know google got maps :p) and there it is your destination pops up with a few choices. One will get you there quicker; One you can avoid the tolls but will take longer; One takes you a more scenic route but not too different.

Time is of the essence so you just pick the first one and off you go to a new place, a new destination and Google is going to make sure you get there as Google predicted as long as you don’t deviate from what she tells you to do. So you head off jammin in your car to Keith Sweat and an 1:45 minutes into the drive you realize that even tho your almost there there’s some construction going on. The Construction workers has everyone waiting for a dumb truck to pass, and for some reason your 4g is now on edge, and of course you have no wifi to hop on. GPS is not giving you any clues on what to do so, you just make the closest turn tired of just sitting here.

You have no idea where you are and you feel in danger of being late to your destination. You aren’t getting any help from the trusty calming voice that usually points you in the right direction. Your turn has moved you way out the way that your supposed to be going and the further and further you get from that stupid traffic, your gps comes back and that voice tells you “hey your going the wrong way”. ReRouting you.

What you didn’t know was that while your driving 20 minutes getting lost because the construction people was taking too long, they had actually created a lane to let people go around the truck and you meanwhile have put yourself out of place 20 minutes away from where your supposed to be. All because you didn’t want to wait thru the uncomfortable delay you have now forced Google to come up with another way to get you to where your supposed to be although now other people have been effected by you and now they have to wait till you get there.

Proverbs 3:5-6King James Version (KJV)

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Why is it that when we make up in our mind what we want to achieve in life. We pray, we hope but we don’t have any faith that God knows what he is doing enough to get us there. We get into places that are unfamiliar and unknown, may not feel good and the first thing we want to do is just try to do it our way. As in the above story, we often find ourselves moving right out the path laid before us because we don’t trust God to navigate us thru it. We get impatient, at times self inflated thinking we can do a better job and we often miss out on that chance to just be still and watch God work.  If Google has enough sense to get us where we are going even with the deviating of our paths. Then the author of our destiny i’m sure can handle your little traffic delay in life.

If you have faith and trust in God then he can be all the gps you need to walk into your destiny and purpose. Who’s blessings, encouragement, rescue or destiny is being held up waiting on you to stop getting lost and having to be rerouted.(Here’s a fun test replace the story above and insert GOD instead of Google).

Be blessed today.

–KJ (Khalied Jameson)

 

Wearing:
Hair Dura-Boy Black*53
Earring:Bandit unisex earrings mod
Pants, Vest, Shirt: Vlad Male outfit FashionNatic.
Hummer: [SURPLUS MOTORS] H1 v1.1 Jules Catlyn 😀

Courageous in Love

Courageous in Love

Cou·ra·geous
kəˈrājəs/
adjective
  1. not deterred by danger or pain; brave; despite fear.
    -Daily i’m encouraged by my wife Reigns courageous act to love again despite her past. When she decided to let go.
    She begin to see the promises of the best of what God has manifest in front of her eyes.-
“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” Genesis 2:18
We have failed in previous relationships, we have hurt those we loved, we were used and abused and taken for granted. We made bad decisions on previous partners.
Remember: Your failures do not define you.
Failure simply means that you are trying and is something to learn from, not to avoid.
Make sure to remind yourself that your failures are not you.
But did it kill you? Remind yourself that even though you may have not succeeded in your past relationships, job, project. You are still standing.
You have a chance to be better then your failures, everyday you can make a decision to become a winner in everything you put you hand too.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Why do we fear? Hurt, disappointment, broken promises and broken plans, unexpected circumstances and society.
Fear is a choice: Danger is real but fear is our mind plotting our own downfall without any real evidence of it.
Understand that in all things great and small. God has given us a spirit of love, power and a sound mind.
It is in this knowledge that we should understand it’s not Gods will for us to be afraid of anything.
Knowing that even when we fall,he is watching over us and will not leave us until he has completed his work in us.
” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Learning to be courageous is easier when you understand your purpose and more-so God’s plan for your life.
Love is the catalyst for courage: The lack of understanding love is the fuel for enhancing fear.
Know that you have power to be greater then any situation or failure.
Courage becomes easier when you understand that you are not alone.
If your life has taken you to the point where you are scared to love again.
Understand that feeling exist to cripple you of your power and to rob you of your joy.
Stifling love is not permitting yourself to win because it’s through love we gain courage and,
 through courage we activate our faith.
Faith and Courage allows you to obtain
the best of what God has and desires for you.
Often times we have these comfort zones  setup to shield us from our next bad relationship,
our next bad decision. But what your really saying is, God i don’t trust you with my life.
I’m going to depend on my own ability to take care of my needs and if i hide behind this wall,
when i have avoided making bad decisions.
I can say it was because of this wall that i’m where i am.
Then when something sneaks past that wall and you get caught up.
You say i’m never going to let my wall down again look what happened.
What really happened is you trusted in yourself instead of your protection.
God is the only person who can truly guide us to what we need,
provide our every need and guard our heart and mind.
When God works in your life. You can’t take the credit. It’s just beyond our doing.
When we are too hardheaded to remember this we get taught a painful lesson and find out our defenses is not enough. 
“5.Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8.It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
9.Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
10.So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
11.My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
12.For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.” Proverbs 5-9
So when the time is done of you doing it your way. God steps in separates those not for you out your life.(painful as that can be sometimes).
Then gives you better. Picking you up brushing you off and, putting you on the right track again.
So understand there is no reason to be fearful of the next part of your life, relationship journey or career goal.
Be courageous, love hard and know that your way is covered and your walking in the ultimate love from someone who wants the best for you not the worst.
Loving you with Agape love,
Khalied Jameson
   Our Styles
 Reign Jameson
COCO- TAILORED PANTS BLACK
COCO-SHAWL COLLAR COAT BLACK
SHOES- MODA- ISABELLA METAL TIPPED HEELS
HAIR-BOON ZP0133
MAKEUP-GLAMORIZE-MINIKIT 9 COMB
GLASSES- GOS- CUSTOM EYEWEAR V3.3
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Kev Jameson
COCO- TAILORED PANTS BLACK
COCO-SHAWL COLLAR COAT BLACK
SHOES FASHIONNATIC LACEUP LEATHER FORMAL
UNORTHODOX NAPPY FADE
S O R G O – ARK WHITE SUNGLASSES
BANDIT UNISEX DIAMOND EARRINGS
/(g}T|㭂_Z/